I explore the relationship between intuitive, meditative art-making and issues of coping and permanence. My process starts with a simple shape, color, or atmosphere associated with a single memory. The painting experience is then a visceral set of reactions in the moment to the paint, colors, textures, and lines. I find inspiration in subtleties of nature like geological layers, water, and land forms, as well as animals like cats and rabbits. These forms make appearances in my paintings, creating a space for emotions and memories to live. I explore the line between control and lack of control when I paint, using this regression with ego control as a metaphor for coping with permanency and grief.